Morning Meditation - Three Guides
So much has happened in the space of a week. Wow!
So, now I've given up all the blogs except one (Gypsy Magic, for some reason, doesn't count) and I'm sitting in my chair in my meditation room watching the leaves on the cottonwood tree dance and spin.
And my mind is racing and spinning - what to post, how to go about the process of letting the blogs go, what to say about it, the order in which to do it - all that.... realizing also that I'm still clinging, in a way.
I thought about yesterday's meditation, and saw myself picking up a yo-yo out of that pile of stuff to leave behind. And, knowing I should leave it - and yet there it is, staying in my hand.
The woman looks down at me and says, "Leave it here." so I try, but it keeps sticking to my hand. She says, "Put it down, it's the devil."
And I know that she's right, and that by "devil" she doesn't mean evil or "scary bad," what she means is that it's tempting, so very tempting, and that if I givein to it, I'll be selling my soul - selling out - whatever or however you want to label it.
So, I put it down under a tree and when, like a yo-yo it came back, I put it down again. I can see how this is going to be a process, because even while I'm writing this, I can feel it back in the palm of my hand.
I might need an EXORCISM to rid myself of the EVIL YO-YO!
This wasn't even my meditation. I hadn't even opened the book yet!!
So, I opened the book with the thought, "OK. Now what?"
And there they were, my friends and allies, Red Hawk, Crazy Thunder, and Holy Skin. These are the same guys that showed up to help me with the ceremony to release blocked energy, and now here they are again.
So, I said, "Where are we going?"
And they replied, "Through the Badlands."
And I'm like... ok... badlands, huh....Sounds scary and interesting - like one of those adventures that's mostly fun AFTER it's over and you've lived through it.
But I'm game. I'm up for it. I really do want my life to be an adventure, and i really do want to live on the edge. Safe and comfortable for too long makes me lazy and crazy.
So... those were my thoughts. And it also occurred to me that the three of them must be my "guides" in a real sense, and that it might be good to honor that in some way... back in the day... if I was a Sioux and had dreamed them, I'd probably be painting their symbols on my teepee - my body - my drum - my horse - somewhere....
I thought about the big stick I found back last fall when my friend Daniel and I went on an adventure looking for fairies. I thought how it might be good to decorate it in some way... make it into a staff of sorts. Maybe three - strings - strips - feathers - something - waving from the top? It wasn't clear, but I did take this to be a first step in knowing what to do with that stick/staff/wand/linear kimana.
Then I turned to them and I said, "Well, OK, Let's go!"
They looked at each other and laughed, "I think she needs a horse."
So there was a horse, he was black and wild - he was a pinto pony - he was changing shape and color too fast for me to pinpoint exactly what he looked like....
And I was on him, and he was rearing up. We were just itching to ride and ride hard.
I looked at them with the quextion, "Why don't I know what he looks like?"
And they said, "He's a Spirit Horse. He is who and what he wants to be."
Then the horse seemed to settle into the form of a pony, with two feathers tied into his mane and a white hand print on top of a big brown patch on his rump.
We were ready to go. I felt the excitment building... and started whooping and hollering...
The three guides looked at each other and smiled, the way you smile about a silly child that you love. And we started off. They opted for a leisurely pace, conserving energy (I thought) for the hard times to come.